Eating While Driving: A Rant & Lesson

I saw somebody in traffic the other day eating a bowl of spaghetti while operating a motor vehicle.  First of all, what the hell are you doing.  Secondly, you are wearing a white shirt, sir, what is wrong with you.  Third, just because eating while driving is not yet illegal doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be.  At least make your meal portable!

Here are some on-the-go meal ideas that probably won’t lead me to an online rant about how stupid you look downing an Italian bistro meal for one in the driver’s seat of your definitely-not-in-park SUV.

 1. Smoothie/Protein Shake

People are all about the liquid diet trend right now, so if you have to “eat” and drive you might as well take all the multi-tasking pressure off and sip it through a straw.

 2. Burrito/Wrap

I am not talking a Chipotle-esque monster-sized thing.  More like Taco Bell, but I feel like if you are on this blog you should be making your own burritos.  Size control, taste control, ingredient control, ya know?  Be able to hold it in one hand.

Recipe: Freezer Bacon, Egg & Cheese Breakfast Wraps


 3. Go-Gurt

Wait.  I guess humans under the age of twelve wouldn’t be driving a car anyway.  Do they make that for adults yet?  Yogurt tubes?  Gross, never mind.

 4. Fruit

Like, fruit that’s ready to eat.  Poppin’ blueberries in your mouth isn’t a difficult task that requires two hands.  Maybe peel your banana at a red light?

 5. Nuts

Same deal.  Pop those peanuts til your heart’s content, you’re not gonna run anybody over.


6. Vegetables

You see my theme here, right?  Prep ‘em, cut ‘em, throw ‘em in a bag or storage container.  Snack all up and down the Interstate.

Anything that requires a plate and fork is an automatic “what are you doing and are you really too busy to enjoy that at a stationary table in a stationary building”.  People are judging you.  I am judging you.  That person you almost took out at the crosswalk is (cursing at) judging you.

Please Eat & Drive Responsibly!

Emily Maloney


Emily grew up convinced she would go to culinary school and then on to be a professional chef for her own restaurant. Then, she didn't. At all. A creative writing track within the English program at Syracuse University guided her passion for writing, and now she is convinced that she will one day soon write an Emmy-winning sitcom. Her obsession with food remains. She currently resides in NYC, plotting her next move.

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